Never Been Kissed

By: C.M Kars

Acknowledgement


This book would not be on your Kindle, Nook, iPad, or whatever e-reader you have without these very important people.

To Jessica Daoust, for the being the very first one to read it and hound me for more chapters. For the understanding and reassuring texts that I’m sure were so annoying at times, you wanted to break your phone. For the serious I never thought that this would get published, and if you were to check our texts, I waffled back and forth I don’t know how many times (more than the Winchesters have died, that’s for sure) about how much it sucked, how much I loved it, only to go back again. Without you, I wouldn’t be sharing Sera and Hunter with the world.

To Skyla Dawn Cameron for my beautiful cover that’s so beautiful I started tearing up when I saw it. Oh yeah, and she’s a badass editor, too.

To all the nerds out there. I know sometimes it feels like no one really gets you, that you just wish you could find that one person who gets all your references, and knows how awesome you are. Accept the nerd, be the nerd. The nerd life chose me, guys, and there’s no other way I could imagine myself to be living.





Author’s note


How to pick up a Nerd 101:

Go to a bookstore or a library. Go up to a guy/girl perusing an aisle that you can talk about (I stay out of the gardening section since I don’t want to look like a fool). Comment on the book, ask them what they think about it. And you know what? Offer to buy it for them.

Yes, you might get rejected. Yes, this might not lead anywhere, and this might not be the person who will understand when you say frak or bloody hell, or care that you know senseless trivia from science class, or movies, or other books you absolutely loved. But you know what?

What if? What if that person gets your nerdy references? Plus, what if they recommend you an awesome series of books? Win-win. I think at least, you’d find a new friend, and friends are good to have.

The point I’m trying to make is… be brave in your nerdiness. I think a lot of us hide that part of ourselves because we’re worried that people find us weird that we’re so passionate about anything and everything Joss Whedon writes, or how that last episode of Sons of Anarchy knocked you flat on your ass, or the sweet agony of watching Supernatural and Doctor Who. We feel things on a different level than most people, I guess.

Just know that you’re worthy of a person who understands that joy, that passion you have for the things you love, and knows how goddamn lucky he/she is to be in your life and to be sharing that passion with them.

Be gentle to yourself, and wave that nerd flag high and proud.

Happy reading, nerds!





I’m Drew Barrymore.

Obviously I’m not really Drew Barrymore, but rather the character she played in the movie Never Been Kissed. So I’m Josie Geller.

Josie and I have the same little problem. Just like her, I’ve blown out all twenty-five candles of my birthday cake and still have never been kissed. That’s where the similarities end, I swear.

Fine, I don’t have that awful blonde-bleached hair, and while I do have her pudgy demeanor which I blame on my love of food and that exercise is really, really hard, I think our personalities are way different.

For one, I don’t really care if your English is off. While Josie will tell you that you are feeling nauseated instead of nauseous, I think there are more important things to think about – like how in hell did Sherlock survive the fall? I might have to punch you in the throat if you say irregardless. That word doesn’t exist. Stop saying it.

Second, I’m not overly shy like Josie is throughout the flashbacks in her high school days. Obviously I’m not going to let on how much of a book and movie nerd I am with people I just met. And no one ever gets the words on my nerdy t-shirts, so I end up keeping quiet at social gatherings. Doesn’t mean I’m shy.

Third. No guy experience, and I mean none. Josie got a date to prom, even if it ended badly for her. And! Josie got Mr. Coulson in the end (not Agent) whereas I have never even held a guy’s hand. The whole palm-to-palm contact thing freaks me out. What if mine gets sweaty and I’m forever known as Sweaty-Palmed Sally?I might as well have a love life in another dimension ‘cause there’s nothing happening here.

Shit. Maybe we are more alike than I care to admit. Bloody hell. The first step is admitting you have a problem, right? Fine. I’m Josie Geller.



***



Holy shit, do I have to pee.

Looks like even revelations of Hollywood proportions will not take my mind off the pain in my bladder, or the way I’m not cussing myself out because I should’ve gone before I left work.

“Let’s go, let’s go,” I mutter, rocking from foot to foot in a special kind of dance. My asshole bladder squeezes down, and I swear to God that I’m going to pee my pants right here in the elevator car.

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