Virgin(94)

By: Radhika Sanghani



“YES,” I wailed.

“Maybe you got it from oral sex, then,” she suggested.

“You can get chlamydia from blow jobs?” I cried, and then lowered my voice as people turned to stare. “Why does no one tell me this stuff?!”

“Oh, babe,” she said. “I’m sorry. It’s so unfair. Hardly anyone uses condoms for oral sex, and you’ve only done it once and caught it. That’s such shit luck.” She gave me a sympathetic hug.

“I can’t believe I have chlamydia.” I moaned dramatically. “I’m like the Virgin Mary, except instead of getting a baby Jesus, I got chlamydia. And I’m not even a virgin anymore.”

She patted my arm understandingly. “I’ll go and get you another G and T,” she said.

I sat alone on the bench contemplating my news as I waited for her. I was no longer a virgin. I had completed my goal. I’d come into contact with an actual condom on an actual penis, and I’d taken a chlamydia test. In fact, I hadn’t just completed my vow; I’d taken it one step further and actually contracted chlamydia.

I laughed to myself as I slurped the last bits of melted ice cubes through my straw. After twenty-one years of surviving virginity, chlamydia didn’t really seem like a big deal.


Me, Myself and My Virginity

EK: When we started this vlog, we told you we were EM, proud slut, and EK, reluctant virgin. Things have changed. I lost my virginity, dear loyal readers. I reached third and fourth base on the same night and couldn’t stop smiling for days. At the ripe age of twenty-one, I finally lost my V-plates to no less than an attractive older guy.

I thought, after all these years, I had finally found the right guy. I was convinced he was falling for me just like I was falling for him. Only it turned out he thought he was just taking my virginity as a friendly favor. Quote: “We’re more friends than lovers, right?” Um. I didn’t think so.

The thing is, The Jack Debacle, as I have coined it (because he doesn’t deserve anonymity), has taught me a lot about virginity. I’ve realized that I have never really thought about what virginity means to me because I’ve been so preoccupied with what everyone else thinks it means. Examples: the American teen movies where the losers are always virgins. Or the ones where the jocks all try to take the hot girl’s virginity. TV shows like SATC where everyone discusses sex the whole time. Magazines that have “Top 50 Sex Tips” on the covers. You get the drift.

I only accepted my virginity after I lost it. I wish I had done it earlier, but either way, I’m glad I finally have. So whoever you are, whether you lost your virginity twenty years ago or you still have it, just accept it. Embrace any STDs you may or may not have, along with the regrets, the disastrous stories, the heartbreak, the pain and the regret. Because if it weren’t for all this stuff, life would be pretty dull. And I, for one, wouldn’t have anything to vlog about.

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